~My life is not my own~

　

My new life was just beginning. I could sense God was up to something major. The closer you get to your blessing, the devil starts messing! Once you become aware of your purpose,that's when opposition emerges. I began to get opposition from family members. They wanted me to choose between Salvation in Christ, and the JW faith. It is normal to have family, friends, and associates reject you. I was not strong in my newly saved life. Therefore, Dealing with the rejection from family and friends was not easy for me. I had not told my family that I was embracing a new faith. My mother, my siblings, and close friends meant the world to me. Having two young daughters made it tough for me to walk away as well. I would no longer be able to attend any family dinners, family reunions, or just a simple visit to mom's house. One day my mother read me a quote from her bible stating that we would no longer be able to share visits or have mother/daughter conversations. The only time we would be allowed to talk was if we were discussing my return to the faith by what they call "Re-enstatement". I was very aware of the scripture that says, "A man's worst enemies will be right in his own home", if you love your father and mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of me, or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of me. He that find his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life for me shall find it." (Matt10:36-39) I understood that scripture very well. Why? Because Jehovah's Witnesses used that scripture for years to keep them separated from anyone that did not belong to the faith. If you were once a Jehovah Witness and chose another faith, they announced publicly to all members that you are Disfellowshiped or excommunicated from the organizaton. Unless you repented and came back as an active member, you were not to have any communication with family, or anyone in the organization. (An active member means you are attending meetings reguarly and preaching door to door for a certain number of hours every month).


Now remember, I had already given my life to Christ. At this time in my life, my thinking was that I could revert and continue to worship with the faith I left. I decided to talk to Jim who was my fiancee at the time, and tell him that I truly missed my family and wanted to go back to the Kingdom Hall. I asked him if he would attend with me, and become one of J'sW. To my surprise, he agreed! We went to a local congregation to introduce ourselves and were greeted with love. Any time you return to the faith or bring a new prospect they treat you like gold. Although Jim came from a strong Christian background, he decided to have a one-on-one study with an Elder of the congregation.(A one-on-one study was when a member of the faith would come to your home to teach you the Bible according to their translation, along with a book written by the organization.) Interestingly, because I was disfellowshiped, they would come into our home only to speak and teach the bible to Jim. They could not speak to me, which was a standard law of the organization.

I remember sitting in the bedroom listening to them study the bible with Jim and being very happy because I knew I was making my family very happy. Jim and I seemed to be happy and felt we were doing the right thing. Our relationship was peaceful and full of love. I was thinking, Wow this is great! I have my family, I am in a loving relationship, and I am back in the faith that I once walked away from. At this point, I did not realize my life was not my own. I was bought with a price(1Cor 6:19,20). God already pulled me out for my purpose. Remember, everything that God does He does with purpose in mind. I was still trying to be in control of my own life. It is dangerous to be in control of your own life. Beware, it can lead you down the wrong path wherein you cannot reach your destiny. The bible says at John 10:10, the devil's purpose is to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life and life more abundantly." I've allowed my past to define me, hold me, and keep me from the purpose God predestined for me. Have you ever wondered how the devil has gained so much information about you and God's plan for your future? The bible says, " Satan walks about like a roaring lion seeking to devour someone"(1pet 5:8). It is vital to know the Word of God and stand up against the attacks of the enemy. Boy, did I learn the hard way. At this point, the scripture that I was familiar with would in turn manifest work in my life.(Matt 10:36-39) "He that loses his life for ME, shall find it". It was time for me to lose my life for Christ.