Being married and having two kids was surely a blessing. However, I began to lose focus during this time of my life for several reasons. Firstly, being such a young mom at 22years old was a heavy responsibility. Secondly, I began to feel like I was missing out on having a good time with girlfriends, and there was still a void inside my heart that was not being filled at home. Not to mention, around this age I was learning who I was, what I like to do, and the places I like to go.
I simply wanted some ME time. How selfish of me. I made many mistakes that forced me into a divorce.
I repented and asked God for forgiveness. Unfortunately, at this point I did not understand the love that God had for me and how he loved me even when I was unloveable. I am encouraged by John 3:16. God knew of every sin you would ever commit. Yet, In spite of that, He gave his only begotten son, so that we would have life.
A wound is an event , healing is a process. I began my healing process by attending the Kingdom hall with my children reguarly. Interestingly, my heart was not there any longer. I did not feel the love from my friends and family that I'd known all of my life. I was being judged and comdemed. I was looking for Love and acceptance from them, however I was shunned. God is a God of love, not comdemnation(John 5:24)
God planted a seed of destiny in me from the beginning of time. My failure did not changed what I was destined to become.
There was another major turn of events at this time of my life. I met a new Man ! I began dating again. There was one problem. As a Jehovah's Witness we were only allowed to date within our religion. At this point I chose to stop attending the kingdom hall.
Unfortunately, I was unhealed, lost, Broken, rejected and lonely. Certainly, I was not quite ready for a relationship. Yet, I needed fulfillment from a Man, a Friend, Money, even Work. I had'nt quite realized that true satisfaction and wholeness comes from knowing and communing with God.
However, Psalms 40:2 says, "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my Goings!" Little did I know, I was on my way to Salvation. I may have been in the driver's seat up until this point in my life, but Jesus was holding the map.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I lost 85 pounds!
There is a very popular saying that goes, "If you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same results. I wanted different results so I made some changes. I started a diet regimen that taught me how to eat to live, instead of living to eat. I started exercising at least 5 days a week, walking and cycling. Each day I felt better and looked better. The day finally came when I had lost a total of 85 pounds! You can visit http://www.bellafitnessgroup.com/ for tips on how to transform your body. I was a happier person when I looked in the mirror. The process was not that easy, However the results were priceless!
My transformation did not end here. Although I made some changes with my outer appearance, I needed to do the same with my inner self. Again I was raised in a strict home and being taught the bible the way my mother understood it. However, it still left me without a Vision for my life. Prov 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." I've learned that you must know who you are, with a vision of who you are BECOMING. More importantly, we are N-O-B-O-D-Y if we are NOT headed someplace to accomplish something in Christ.
At this point of my life, I thought I had Christ. This is why we must get to know Jesus Christ for ourselves. Phil 2:12 says, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."
Again, I had many goals and dreams. One of my goals were to become a Hairstylist! I remember the day I enrolled in Beauty College to become a professional Hairstylist. I accomplish that goal! I felt great because I really began to like the woman that I'd become. I was looking great and making great money. life was good. So I thought..... Unfortunately, things began to take a turn in my life at this time, I became so full of SELF and allowed distraction to ruin my marriage. But, thank God he still had his hand on my life.
My transformation did not end here. Although I made some changes with my outer appearance, I needed to do the same with my inner self. Again I was raised in a strict home and being taught the bible the way my mother understood it. However, it still left me without a Vision for my life. Prov 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." I've learned that you must know who you are, with a vision of who you are BECOMING. More importantly, we are N-O-B-O-D-Y if we are NOT headed someplace to accomplish something in Christ.
At this point of my life, I thought I had Christ. This is why we must get to know Jesus Christ for ourselves. Phil 2:12 says, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."
Again, I had many goals and dreams. One of my goals were to become a Hairstylist! I remember the day I enrolled in Beauty College to become a professional Hairstylist. I accomplish that goal! I felt great because I really began to like the woman that I'd become. I was looking great and making great money. life was good. So I thought..... Unfortunately, things began to take a turn in my life at this time, I became so full of SELF and allowed distraction to ruin my marriage. But, thank God he still had his hand on my life.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Who am I?
Direction will not be made clear until you seek God's wisdom and desire for you.
After having my two daughters, there was something on the inside of me that was searching for who I was. I had many dreams and aspirations, yet I had to put them on hold to care for my two daughters? Someone may ask, why should having children put your dreams on hold? I wanted be the best mom and wife I could be. Still, I was empty on the inside. When my baby was about 3-4 years old, things began to change.
I remember looking in the mirror and I saw a person that I did not like. I was over weight, depressed and confused, wondering who am I, and where my life going. I remember thinking okay, I am serving God with my family, I preach door to door like I am told to do, I have my Husband, my kids and our home, what more could I ask for. Not one time did I turn to God and ask "Who am I"? What is your will for my life. I thought I was doing his will....being a good Mom and Wife.
This is when I said, I got it, I need to lose weight! At this point of my search for who I am, I thought I hit the Jackpot!
I ran into a very good friend of mine one day and she looked amazing! I inquired and asked her, How much weight she'd lost and how did she do it? She told me 80lbs, and shared with me exactly what she did. She would even invite me to the gym. My first day at the gym was so exciting, until she said; GET ON THE SCALE.
Well, I was a whopping 220lbs! That day my life was changed forever!
After having my two daughters, there was something on the inside of me that was searching for who I was. I had many dreams and aspirations, yet I had to put them on hold to care for my two daughters? Someone may ask, why should having children put your dreams on hold? I wanted be the best mom and wife I could be. Still, I was empty on the inside. When my baby was about 3-4 years old, things began to change.
I remember looking in the mirror and I saw a person that I did not like. I was over weight, depressed and confused, wondering who am I, and where my life going. I remember thinking okay, I am serving God with my family, I preach door to door like I am told to do, I have my Husband, my kids and our home, what more could I ask for. Not one time did I turn to God and ask "Who am I"? What is your will for my life. I thought I was doing his will....being a good Mom and Wife.
This is when I said, I got it, I need to lose weight! At this point of my search for who I am, I thought I hit the Jackpot!
I ran into a very good friend of mine one day and she looked amazing! I inquired and asked her, How much weight she'd lost and how did she do it? She told me 80lbs, and shared with me exactly what she did. She would even invite me to the gym. My first day at the gym was so exciting, until she said; GET ON THE SCALE.
Well, I was a whopping 220lbs! That day my life was changed forever!
Monday, April 26, 2010
"Hello God, its me Ardys"
I would like to take the time to thank everyone in advance for visiting my blog and Journey. I pray you will be blessed.
I wanted to start my Journey in Blogging by first giving Honor and Glory to my father in Heaven.
As a little girl I did not have the opportunity to be blessed with a natural Father. When my mother was 9 months pregnant with me my father was murdered. Through my life's journey, I have come to realize how important a father is to a daughter. I believe the death of my father was part of the devil's plan to take my life shortly thereafter. My mother was told on September the 20th, 1970, that her precious little baby girl was not going to make it, I had a hard time breathing therefore I had to be put in an incubator for the first 3 months of my life. Yes the Devil tried to Kill me too! But, God who knew me well before I came out of my mother's womb (Isaiah 49:1) saved me. That is why my first Blog is titled "Hello God, Its me Ardys". This is an Introduction to the Amazing journey and how I began to embrace my Heavenly Father, Jehovah God his Son Jesus Christ and my comforter the Holy Spirit.
As a little girl growing up I had such a strong mother who in a sense, took the place of my father as well. She was very strict and tough on her 5 children. I was the 4th child. Growing up we were part of a religious organization that taught us very strong values and morals. We were taught how to preach and teach the Word of God. I embraced the beliefs strongly. At the Age of 5, I began Ministering to people door to door, in school, on the play ground, it didnt matter, It was something on the inside of me that desired to talk about Jesus Christ. I didnt quite understand at a young age "my calling". I was doing what all the members in the organization practiced, it was required of us. Some did it as a form or fashion or because they were told, It was truly in my heart to witness to people about the Lord.
Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that God know's the thoughts and plans he has for our lives. Although I read many scriptures, I didnt truly have an understanding of what they meant for my life. I knew about God but did not have a personal relationship with him. Yes, he was suppose to replace the void of not having a natural father, but to no avail.
Growing up in a strict home we were not allowed to have boyfriend's. Dating was intended for adults who were ready to be married. Well, I was not trying to be married I just wanted a boyfriend, so I began to disobey my mom and God. I believe this is because I began to yearn for a male figure to love me and take care of me. My first boyfriend was attending the same congregation I attended, all I knew was he was cute, He thought I was cute! We exchanged phone numbers and before you know it we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I Thank God for my values because I remember him wanting to have sex with me at 16-17 years old, I said no. This is the first encounter of feeling the effects of being hurt in a relationship. I later found out he was having sex with my best friend, I cried for days. Shortly after that relationship I jumped right into another relationship. (I will show later how not healing can effect you) In my next relationship he was a great guy who truly loved me. I believe because I did not have the love of a father embracing me and loving me I did not know how to Identify true love. Nor did I truly understand that God was here to replace that love through his love for me.(more on that later)
I had 2 beautiful daughters with him. This is where is the "The Real Journey Begins".
I wanted to start my Journey in Blogging by first giving Honor and Glory to my father in Heaven.
As a little girl I did not have the opportunity to be blessed with a natural Father. When my mother was 9 months pregnant with me my father was murdered. Through my life's journey, I have come to realize how important a father is to a daughter. I believe the death of my father was part of the devil's plan to take my life shortly thereafter. My mother was told on September the 20th, 1970, that her precious little baby girl was not going to make it, I had a hard time breathing therefore I had to be put in an incubator for the first 3 months of my life. Yes the Devil tried to Kill me too! But, God who knew me well before I came out of my mother's womb (Isaiah 49:1) saved me. That is why my first Blog is titled "Hello God, Its me Ardys". This is an Introduction to the Amazing journey and how I began to embrace my Heavenly Father, Jehovah God his Son Jesus Christ and my comforter the Holy Spirit.
As a little girl growing up I had such a strong mother who in a sense, took the place of my father as well. She was very strict and tough on her 5 children. I was the 4th child. Growing up we were part of a religious organization that taught us very strong values and morals. We were taught how to preach and teach the Word of God. I embraced the beliefs strongly. At the Age of 5, I began Ministering to people door to door, in school, on the play ground, it didnt matter, It was something on the inside of me that desired to talk about Jesus Christ. I didnt quite understand at a young age "my calling". I was doing what all the members in the organization practiced, it was required of us. Some did it as a form or fashion or because they were told, It was truly in my heart to witness to people about the Lord.
Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that God know's the thoughts and plans he has for our lives. Although I read many scriptures, I didnt truly have an understanding of what they meant for my life. I knew about God but did not have a personal relationship with him. Yes, he was suppose to replace the void of not having a natural father, but to no avail.
Growing up in a strict home we were not allowed to have boyfriend's. Dating was intended for adults who were ready to be married. Well, I was not trying to be married I just wanted a boyfriend, so I began to disobey my mom and God. I believe this is because I began to yearn for a male figure to love me and take care of me. My first boyfriend was attending the same congregation I attended, all I knew was he was cute, He thought I was cute! We exchanged phone numbers and before you know it we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I Thank God for my values because I remember him wanting to have sex with me at 16-17 years old, I said no. This is the first encounter of feeling the effects of being hurt in a relationship. I later found out he was having sex with my best friend, I cried for days. Shortly after that relationship I jumped right into another relationship. (I will show later how not healing can effect you) In my next relationship he was a great guy who truly loved me. I believe because I did not have the love of a father embracing me and loving me I did not know how to Identify true love. Nor did I truly understand that God was here to replace that love through his love for me.(more on that later)
I had 2 beautiful daughters with him. This is where is the "The Real Journey Begins".
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