"Blind leading the Blind"

It was time for God to intervene in my life. Clearly, Jim and I were the "Blind leading the Blind". There comes a time when the Lord will challenge you to give HIM what means most to you. For some, this requires giving him your heart, and for others it requires giving him your Life.  It is typical to hold on to what we desire, and give the Lord what we dont want.  I had come to a place where I had to let go of what was holding me. At this time of my life it was my faith my family and some of my worldly ways.  This reminds me of the story in Mark 14:3, the woman who willingly gave up her Alabaster box. This was an ultimate sacrifice. Who knows what the woman went through to have this box. This unique box came out of brokenness, bondage and misery but made it all the way to Bethany to be broken at the feet of Jesus.  I needed to come out of egypt and leave the only piece of evidence that signified that I was in bondage. I had to break my box and give God the ultimate sacrifice, MY LIFE.

As God began to impress upon my heart to live for him, I began asking him how?  First, Jim and I had to make some decisions regarding our relationship. We were living together, but knew we needed to be married or live in separate homes.  Jim surprised me oneday with family and my children present, with an engagement ring. I was so excited, I was in love with him and wanted to be his wife.  Prior to the engagement, our relationship was being tested. One of the problems we faced was a secret that Jim held from me. By the time he shared the secret with me, I was already head over heels in love with him!  I was thinking no matter what it is I am going to stick by him.  Little did I know what this would entail! He shared with me in his exact words, "I've dibbled and dabbled in drugs". The drug of choice was Crack Cocaine!  Now, again I came from a very strict up bringing, very sheltered and naive, no one in my immediate family or circle of friends drank liqueur or used any drugs to my knowledge. At the time I was not aware of the kind of effects crack cocaine had on individuals. I encouraged him to stop using this drug because it would not be pleasing to me, more importantly, God.  Jim promised me that he would never do drugs again and we would live a happy married life. I did not know that this drug was an addictive substance, or that it was a stronghold, and needless to say, a demonic spirit that was trying to take hold of his life and destiny.

  Although I was aware of the secret we proceeded to plan our wedding.   Unfortunately, I did not have any family members that attended the ceremony. Surprisingly, I was okay. Most of Jims family attended, and it was a blessed occasion.  Shortly after we were married, we were looking for a church to join. We visited several churches, but to no avail.  Jim's mother would call every Sunday after attending her church in Bloomfield CT, she would tell us how awesome the Word and teaching was, she began to pray for us to relocate to Conneticut and become members of her Church.  Being newly saved, and newlyweds, it was vital that we get into a bible based church, a deliverance Ministry. The name of the church was Full Gospel Foundation Building ministries. It was of Apostolic faith, full of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ was the Chief Corner Stone of the Church.  Yes, this is what we needed.  However, there was one problem. In my previous divorce decree we shared custody of our daughters, therefore, neither parent could not move out of the state of California, if any one chose to move, no one was allowed to take the children and the other parent would have full custody.  Of course I refuse to leave without my kids. We had a conversation with Jim's mother, I told her moving was not an option.  Her answer was simply  "Pray about it". I did pray. This was an amazing encounter I experienced,  pray, then watch God's power work.  I called the kids father, while being nervous, I shared with him my desire for me and our daughters to move to Conneticut,  Without any hesitation he said "Yes" I was shocked!  I could not believe what I was hearing. We worked out all the preliminaries in writing regarding visitation, child support, etc, and literally within one month we were moving to Conneticut. I know this was God's will for our life. I know my ex-husband and how much he loved his daughters and wanted them to be close to him. It was a supernatural move of God on my behalf for him to say "Yes". I give God all the glory.
 
The start of a christian life is the acceptance of the Lord Jesus Christ as one's personal savior.  After this initial confession, a process of deliverance begins.  We have a right to be completely set free and walk in the righteousness of God. Joel 2:32 says, "And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord, shall be Delivered".  Moving to Conneticut  was an open door for the power of God to reign in our lives and guide us into our destiny through deliverance.

~My life is not my own~

　

My new life was just beginning. I could sense God was up to something major. The closer you get to your blessing, the devil starts messing! Once you become aware of your purpose,that's when opposition emerges. I began to get opposition from family members. They wanted me to choose between Salvation in Christ, and the JW faith. It is normal to have family, friends, and associates reject you. I was not strong in my newly saved life. Therefore, Dealing with the rejection from family and friends was not easy for me. I had not told my family that I was embracing a new faith. My mother, my siblings, and close friends meant the world to me. Having two young daughters made it tough for me to walk away as well. I would no longer be able to attend any family dinners, family reunions, or just a simple visit to mom's house. One day my mother read me a quote from her bible stating that we would no longer be able to share visits or have mother/daughter conversations. The only time we would be allowed to talk was if we were discussing my return to the faith by what they call "Re-enstatement". I was very aware of the scripture that says, "A man's worst enemies will be right in his own home", if you love your father and mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of me, or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of me. He that find his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life for me shall find it." (Matt10:36-39) I understood that scripture very well. Why? Because Jehovah's Witnesses used that scripture for years to keep them separated from anyone that did not belong to the faith. If you were once a Jehovah Witness and chose another faith, they announced publicly to all members that you are Disfellowshiped or excommunicated from the organizaton. Unless you repented and came back as an active member, you were not to have any communication with family, or anyone in the organization. (An active member means you are attending meetings reguarly and preaching door to door for a certain number of hours every month).


Now remember, I had already given my life to Christ. At this time in my life, my thinking was that I could revert and continue to worship with the faith I left. I decided to talk to Jim who was my fiancee at the time, and tell him that I truly missed my family and wanted to go back to the Kingdom Hall. I asked him if he would attend with me, and become one of J'sW. To my surprise, he agreed! We went to a local congregation to introduce ourselves and were greeted with love. Any time you return to the faith or bring a new prospect they treat you like gold. Although Jim came from a strong Christian background, he decided to have a one-on-one study with an Elder of the congregation.(A one-on-one study was when a member of the faith would come to your home to teach you the Bible according to their translation, along with a book written by the organization.) Interestingly, because I was disfellowshiped, they would come into our home only to speak and teach the bible to Jim. They could not speak to me, which was a standard law of the organization.

I remember sitting in the bedroom listening to them study the bible with Jim and being very happy because I knew I was making my family very happy. Jim and I seemed to be happy and felt we were doing the right thing. Our relationship was peaceful and full of love. I was thinking, Wow this is great! I have my family, I am in a loving relationship, and I am back in the faith that I once walked away from. At this point, I did not realize my life was not my own. I was bought with a price(1Cor 6:19,20). God already pulled me out for my purpose. Remember, everything that God does He does with purpose in mind. I was still trying to be in control of my own life. It is dangerous to be in control of your own life. Beware, it can lead you down the wrong path wherein you cannot reach your destiny. The bible says at John 10:10, the devil's purpose is to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life and life more abundantly." I've allowed my past to define me, hold me, and keep me from the purpose God predestined for me. Have you ever wondered how the devil has gained so much information about you and God's plan for your future? The bible says, " Satan walks about like a roaring lion seeking to devour someone"(1pet 5:8). It is vital to know the Word of God and stand up against the attacks of the enemy. Boy, did I learn the hard way. At this point, the scripture that I was familiar with would in turn manifest work in my life.(Matt 10:36-39) "He that loses his life for ME, shall find it". It was time for me to lose my life for Christ.

Pulled out for a Purpose

Everything that God does he does with purpose in mind.  God always has a reason as a backbone for what he accomplishes.  There comes a time when you have to be pulled out and pushed in to your purpose.
 

I was definitely pulled out of the Jehovah Witness faith for my purpose.  Leaving the faith was not the plan I had for my life. Although I was very unhappy, leaving was not something done by members. I did not celebrate any Holidays, Birthdays,  participate in School activities; Dances, Homecoming, Prom just to name a few.  Nor was I not able to accept blood transfusions if I became sick, these were all rules of the organization. Most people would say, "Why would someone want to be involved with such a faith that has you brainwashed to believe these are rules goverened by God?"  When you are involved in a cult, you do not know how to come out, especially if you have been a part of it for so long.  Thank God the length of time you have been in a particular place cannot dictate the amount of time it takes to come out of the place. When God wants you out of a thing, He can snatch you out in an instant!  That is exactly what happened to me.

One evening I recieved a phone call that was to soon change my life.  I was invited to church. I immediately said "Yes".  I was excited to do something different from what I had always done.  On that unforgettable day, It became one of the most important days of my life.  My experience was amazing!  I cannot  remember what the sermon was titled.  I do remember Pastor Clarence McClendon doing an Alter call,  I promptly began moving out of my seat toward the Alter. Tears rolling down my face as I began to pray the sinners prayer out loud, confessing that I am a sinner, and asking for forgiveness and repenting for my sins, I ask Jesus Christ to come into my heart as my Savior and Lord.(Rom 10:9)  I was told that Jesus christ was now my God and the Lord of my life from this day forward. I truly believed this!  My heart was so full.  I continued to weep.  Now remember, I had no clue what the true meaning of "Getting Saved" meant.  I just felt something that I've never felt before, I  was simply trusting that I was doing the right thing.

 Jehovah's Witnesses do not Believe that Scripture.(Rom10:9)  They believe you must live your life without sin NOW then, you will be Saved on Judgement day. Thank you Jesus for becoming alive in me, For all that You have done for me, by making me your daughter through the shed blood of Christ, taking all of the sins, guilt, shame, and the weight of all the burdens I had on my shoulders.
It was amazing that I would meet a man who came from a large family that Loved the Lord.  Although Jim came from a very spiritual family he had not given his life to Christ, but he did on that very same day. We Both were very happy and felt blessed to be together.  I remember us hugging one another as if we had just gotten married or something. 
On the way home from church, we talked about how great we felt on the inside. Unfortunately,  I did not have any plans on going back to church.  Yes, I surrendered my life to christ, but I still had apprehensions, fears, and uncertainties. I was ready to come out of my comfort zone of the organization, but not ready to walk away from my family, which I knew was soon to come.

 Upon returning home we called Jim's mother to tell her what happened!  She was elated. She began to tell us to find a good church home because we were at the beginning of what God was doing in our life.  We were babies in Christ and needed the Word of God taught to us in order for us to grow spiritually and understand our purpose.  She was very concerned because I was fresh out of my JW faith.  I believe she knew the devil would come either sooner or later  and try to get me to believe what I did was not real.  She began to Pray for us. I know her prayers changed the trajectory of  my life, and it was all in God's plan.

Getting set free from Bondage!

On May 7, 2010, at 6:44 PM, Ardys Boyd wrote:










Being a Jehovah's Witness was certainly a mind controlled religion. It was full of man made rules. I was in bondage to an organization that taught us the way you live on this earth now will determine if you will be saved in the end. In their terms, the end meant Armageddon, where the world would be destroyed and only good Jehovah's Witnesses would be saved. During this time of my life, I made many mistakes and was always sad because I did not want to be destroyed. I was always told that I was responsible for my children, which meant that if I sinned or made any mistakes, my children would be destroyed as well. I always thought, "What a cruel God?" I began to pray about this. I needed answers but had no one to turn to.


I met a wonderful man through a friend of mine and began to tell him I was a Jehovah's Witness and would not be able to date him. However, I really enjoyed talking to him and realizedd I was able to be myself around him and his family. Being a JW, we lived a life of pretense. You had to become what they wanted you to become, instead of who God created you to be. I decided to continue the relationship with him despite the consequences I would have to face from the organization.


Eventually, we fell in love. I began to get very close to his family. One day, I was asked questions about my religion by one of his cousins. They began to talk to me about the bible. I was hesitant to listen. As JW's we were not supposed to listen to any other religion nor enter any churches. However after a few conversations with the family, I became curious about what they were saying. The first Scripture was, John:1 which says, "In The beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God." JW do not believe in the Trinity at all! I debated that scripture tooth and nail. Well, all I can say is, the seed was sown that day. I began to think to myself and wonder whether there really was something to what she just read to me. That day, I began to pray for God to show me more. At this point, I had no intentions of not being a JW, because my entire family was Jehovah's Witnesses. If I chose to leave the Organization, I would be shunned by the whole entire family and the Organization. So this was a very tough decision for me. I was afraid for myself and my children! By this time, I'd fallen in love with Jim. I decided to try to convert him to the Jehovah's Witness faith, instead of his family converting me. Boy, I did not know the plan of action God had for me!

Me, myself and I

Being married and  having two kids was surely a blessing.  However, I began to lose focus during this time of my life for several reasons.  Firstly, being such a young mom at 22years old was a  heavy responsibility.   Secondly,  I began to feel like I was missing out on having a good time with girlfriends, and there was still a void inside my heart that was not being filled at home.  Not to mention, around this age I was learning who I was, what I like to do, and the places I like to go. 

I simply wanted some ME time. How selfish of me. I made many mistakes that forced me into a divorce.

 I repented and asked God for forgiveness.  Unfortunately, at this point I did not understand the love that God had for me and how he loved me even when I was unloveable.  I am encouraged by John 3:16. God knew of every sin you would ever commit. Yet, In spite of that, He gave his only begotten son, so that we would have life.

   A wound is an event , healing is a process.  I began my healing process by attending the Kingdom hall with my children reguarly.  Interestingly, my heart was not there any longer.   I did not feel the love from my friends and family that I'd known all of my life.  I was being judged and comdemed.  I was looking for Love and acceptance from them, however I was shunned.  God is a God of  love, not comdemnation(John 5:24)

God planted a seed of destiny in me from the beginning of time. My failure did not changed what I was destined to become. 

There was another major turn of events at this time of my life. I met a new Man ! I began dating again.  There was one problem.  As a Jehovah's Witness we were only allowed to date within our religion.  At this point I chose to stop attending the kingdom hall.
 
Unfortunately,  I was  unhealed, lost, Broken, rejected and lonely.  Certainly, I was not quite ready for a relationship. Yet, I needed fulfillment from a Man, a Friend, Money, even Work.   I had'nt quite realized that true satisfaction and wholeness comes from knowing and communing with God.   

However, Psalms 40:2 says, "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my Goings!"   Little did I know, I was on my way to Salvation.  I may have been in the driver's seat up until this point in my life, but Jesus was holding  the map.

   

I lost 85 pounds!

 There is a very popular saying that goes, "If you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same results.  I wanted different results so I made some changes. I started a diet regimen that taught me how to eat to live, instead of living to eat.  I started exercising at least 5 days a week, walking and cycling.   Each day I felt better and  looked better.  The day finally came when I had lost a total of 85 pounds! You can visit http://www.bellafitnessgroup.com/ for tips on how to transform your body.  I was a happier person when I looked in the mirror. The process was not that easy, However the results were priceless!

My transformation did not end here.  Although I made some changes with my outer appearance, I needed to do the same with my inner self.  Again I was raised in a strict home and  being taught the bible the way my mother understood it.  However, it still left me without a Vision for my life.  Prov 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish."  I've learned that you must know who you are, with a vision of who you are BECOMING.  More importantly, we are N-O-B-O-D-Y if we are NOT headed someplace to accomplish something in Christ. 

At this point of my life, I thought I had Christ.  This is why we must get to know Jesus Christ for ourselves. Phil 2:12 says, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."

 Again, I had many goals and dreams.  One of my goals were to become a Hairstylist!  I remember the day I enrolled in Beauty College to become a professional Hairstylist. I accomplish that goal!  I felt great because I really began to like the woman that I'd become.  I was looking great and making great money.  life was good.  So I thought..... Unfortunately, things began to take a turn in my life at this time,  I became so full of  SELF  and allowed distraction to ruin my marriage.  But, thank God he still had his hand on my life.

Who am I?

Direction will not be made clear until you seek God's wisdom and desire for you.

 After having my two daughters, there was something on the inside of me that was searching for who I was.  I had many dreams and aspirations, yet I had to put them on hold to care for my two daughters?  Someone may ask, why should having children put your dreams on hold?  I wanted be the best mom and wife I could be. Still, I was empty on the inside.  When my baby was about 3-4 years old, things  began to change.

I remember looking in the mirror and I saw a person that I did not like.  I was over weight,  depressed and confused,  wondering who am I, and where my life going.  I remember thinking okay, I am serving God with my family, I preach door to door like I am told to do, I have my Husband, my kids and our home, what more could I ask for.  Not one time did I turn to God and ask "Who am I"?  What is your will for my life. I thought  I was doing his will....being a good Mom and Wife.  

This is when I said, I got it, I need to lose weight!  At this point of my search for who I am, I thought I hit the Jackpot!

  I ran into a very good friend of mine one day and she looked amazing!  I inquired and asked her, How much weight she'd lost and how did she do it?  She told me 80lbs, and shared with me exactly what she did.  She would even invite me to the gym.  My first day at the gym was so exciting, until she said; GET ON THE SCALE.
  
Well, I was a whopping 220lbs!  That day my life was changed forever!

"Hello God, its me Ardys"

I would like to take the time to thank everyone in advance for visiting my blog and Journey. I pray you will be blessed.

I wanted to start my Journey in Blogging by first giving Honor and Glory to my father in Heaven.

As a little girl I did not have the opportunity to be blessed with a natural Father.  When my mother was 9 months pregnant with me my father was murdered.  Through my life's journey, I have come to realize how important a father is to a daughter.  I believe the death of my father was part of the devil's plan to take my life shortly thereafter.  My mother was told on September the 20th, 1970, that her precious little baby girl was not going to make it,  I had a hard time breathing therefore I had to be put in an incubator for the first 3 months of my life. Yes the Devil tried to Kill me too! But, God who knew me well before I came out of my mother's womb (Isaiah 49:1) saved me. That is why my first Blog is titled "Hello God, Its me Ardys". This is an Introduction to the Amazing journey and how I began to embrace my Heavenly Father, Jehovah God his Son Jesus Christ and my comforter the Holy Spirit.

As a little girl growing up I had such a strong mother who in a sense, took the place of my father as well. She was very strict and tough on her 5 children. I was the 4th child.  Growing up we were part of a religious organization that taught us very strong values and morals.  We were taught how to preach and teach the Word of  God. I embraced the beliefs strongly.  At the Age of 5, I began Ministering to people door to door, in school, on the play ground, it didnt matter, It was something on the inside of me that desired to talk about Jesus Christ.  I didnt quite understand at a young age "my calling". I was doing what all the members in the organization practiced, it was required of us. Some did it as a form or fashion or because they were told, It was truly in my heart to witness to people about the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11 Tells us that God know's the thoughts and plans he has for our lives. Although I read many scriptures, I didnt truly have an understanding of what they meant for my life.  I knew about God but did not have a personal relationship with him.  Yes, he was suppose to replace the void of not having a natural father, but to no avail.

  Growing up in a strict home we were not allowed to have boyfriend's. Dating was intended for adults who were ready to be married. Well, I was not trying to be married I just wanted a boyfriend, so I began to disobey my mom and God.  I believe this is because I began to yearn for a male figure to love me and take care of me. My first boyfriend was attending the same congregation I attended, all I knew was he was cute, He thought I was cute! We exchanged phone numbers and before you know it we were boyfriend and girlfriend.  I Thank God for my values because I remember him wanting to have sex with me at 16-17 years old, I said no.  This is the first encounter of feeling the effects of being hurt in a relationship. I later found out he was having sex with my best friend, I cried for days.  Shortly after that relationship I jumped right into another relationship. (I will show later how not healing can effect you) In my next relationship he was a great guy who truly loved me.   I believe because I did not have the love of a father embracing me and loving me I did not know how to Identify true love. Nor did I truly understand that God was here to replace that love through his love for me.(more on that later)
I had 2 beautiful daughters with him. This is where is the "The Real Journey Begins".